Store: A very unique bagel store experience. Dinner jazz on the speaker system, window signage created using the impact font setting on a meme generator and a quote from Deuteronomy 28:2,6 in marquee lettering on the wall. Instead of hoppers, the bagels are stored in giant, empty cheese puff jugs you'd pick up from a bulk store. Small drink selection, no pastry selection and a sadly stocked deli case. None of that matters. The staff is sweet and the vibe is singular. We're at the absolute upper bounds of how high a rating can go on character alone. 4.25

Bagel: A large bagel on the chewy side. Great topping density of standard composition but a lack of salt presence hurts here. A very pretty, whorling shell but no real taste direction. Too much bread and not enough bagel. 3.25

Cream Cheese: Served deli case cold. Uneven application and thin amount. Not much contribution from the scallion in any facet - taste, looks or texture. An overly thick spread. Possibly not made in house but can't say for sure. Very forgettable, unlike the store. 3