Store: Smells like pizza. Every bagel - about 70 total - is individually plastic wrapped. The store is salvaged by the variety of unusual deli items in the store, like long potato chips. It's the ultimate one-stop New York shopping experience you wish could work but know deep down is impossible to pull off. (The White Strikes "We're Going to Be Friends" plays on the radio). 2.75

Bagel: Medium-Large bagel. Served unwrapped from plastic so no change of baked warmth. One sided toppings with no flavor contribution, just mouth ripping. Salt is present in 5-7 tiny flecks but no actual salt taste. An unwieldly chew, chunky. It's a bagel with no redeeming qualities, but not stale or moldy, either. 1.75

Cream Cheese: Served deli case cold. It's a texture rich spread, with green stringy scallions and a nice color presence. Good application and coverage, though slightly messy. A tendency to clump in the mouth. Some overcheese present. Higher than what one might expect given the rest of the scenario. 3